Some of you may think I am sharing too much, but it's my opinion. And I think it's okay if people know.
SYRACUSE -Mary Beth passed away in her home on Tuesday, September 19, 2006. Born to Blaine and Velma Fisher on July 30, 1950, she was raised in West Point, Utah.
She was valedictorian of her 1968 Clearfield High School graduating class. She attended Weber State College where she participated in the La Dioneda sorority and graduated as a registered nurse. She married Scot Denhalter in 1972 in the Ogden LDS Temple. Her pride and joy were their children: Joshua, Rachel (LaFon), Joseph, Sarah (Buttars), Elizabeth and Seth. She was a loving and devoted mother and caring grandmother to three grandchildren.
Funeral services were held Tuesday, September 26, at 11 a.m. at the Syracuse Stake Center, 1350 S. 1800 W.
Interment, West Point Cemetery.
There you see it. My mom was smart, beautiful, well liked, etc.. And when I was about 5 years old, she gave that all away for an addiction to pain pills. I never really found out what STARTED her addiction, all I know is it ruined her.
Seeing as how I was only 5 and Seth was 3 when her addiction began, we never really got to know our REAL mom. Not like everyone else knew her. Drugs transformed her into something none of us liked. Growing up with this was really hard, especially because I never knew what was going on. Her addiction was never explained to me or Seth. We kind of had to figure it out on our own. After all of her car accidents, and DUI's, it was pretty clear, something was wrong. And as I got older, I just became extremely mad at her. I had SO much anger towards my mom, all the time. I couldn't stand to be around her, and when I HAD to be, I was rude. Oh I can't tell you how much I regret that.. Addiction is something I didn't understand. But now that I do, I would have handled everything so much better.
The one and only time I ever saw my mom 100% sober, was right after she got out of prison, I took her grocery shopping. It was the weirdest thing ever, but also very awesome.
As you can imagine, 15 years of drug abuse will take a toll on someones body. My mom's autopsy report showed respiratory failure, due to drug abuse. Her body just gave up on her.
2 weeks before my mom passed away, I was getting gas at the gas station across the street from her apartment. (Where I ALWAYS got gas.) But this time, something just came over me.. Telling me I should go see her. So I did. We talked, caught up, then she asked me to drop her off at the movies. I asked her if her car was having problems (she had a POS) and she told me "No. I had my license suspended." And I just wanted to scream, yell throw something. "AGAIN? Are you kidding me? After everything you've gone through? Car accident after car accident, jail, PRISON!" But I didn't. I was calm. I simply said, "okay, lets go." I was nice to her the entire drive, hugged and kissed her goodbye. 2 weeks later, I got the call she had passed away.
I am SO thankful that I wasn't my normal, mean self. For once, I went to see her willingly and took her somewhere with out acting like it was a huge hassle.
I miss my mom every day. I wonder constantly what life would be like if she were still here. It makes me incredibly sad to know that my kids will never meet their grandma Denhalter. Shit, Erik never even met my mom. She would have loved him, so much.
All in all, I think god took her because he knew she couldn't get better. She was sick for 15 years, and wasn't anywhere near close to getting better. I feel like he wanted to take her away from the pain, and give her something better.
I forgive my mom for her addiction. I just wish I would have done it sooner.
