Crying at my desk, what else is new? ;)

I cannot stop reading this

I started from the very beginning. (June 2004) And I am reading every post. I love this blog, and I love this guy. Even though he makes me cry every 5 seconds.

In love with this!!

So I've been hunting on etsy.com for the perfect veil, for quite awhile!! I couldn't find the right peice/clip with the right veil! So finally I just bought two seperate pieces, and I am going to put them together so they look like one!! Smart right? Yeah I thought so too... :)

Tell me this isn't amazing.. I am soooo in love with it!


And then this will be the veil I have coming out of the feather clip! (it might not look exactly like it does on this girl, but it's the same birdcage.)



You like?? :)

"I'm coming up only to hold you under.."

A few facts..

I am a girl in love, he is amazing, and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life as his wife. <3 07/07/10

I love music as much as I love Erik. (And that is a lot.) I was raised in a music loving family. Almost everyone in my family can sing, or play an instrument, or both. (Except me of course.) Maybe if I tried.. Music just has a way with me.. It understands me when no one else can. It seems like music always knows how I am feeling, and plays the perfect song at the perfect moment. If I had to pick between being deaf or blind, I'd choose to lose my sight. I don't think I could ever go without hearing music. "I'm coming up only to hold you under. I'm coming up only to show you wrong. And to know you is hard; we wonder, To know you all wrong; we warn."

I love to write. Although I never write anymore.. It seems like my best writing days were during my darkest days. And once I started having true happiness, I can't find the words to write anymore. So I guess I gotta take the good with the bad?

I think I have an obsession with television.. Sad I know. I went pretty much my whole childhood with out tv. My dad got rid of it one day, and never got it back! Then by the time I moved out, I was too busy to watch it. But once I moved to MD, and didn't have a job for 2 months.. I was sucked in. I think my brain is melting.

I have experienced death up close and personal.. in many ways. Old age, cancer, suicide, drug poisoning, even unknown causes. Death is not easy. And every time I hear about someone passing away, my heart aches. Even if the person isn't close to me. I know death happens every day, and it is the way it is supposed to be. But I can't help but feel sorry for the loved ones left behind to miss them. I lost my mother when I was 19. I still cry at least every week. I didn't have a normal relationship with her when she was alive.. And I wonder if I did, if it would have made her death easier or harder? Everyone needs to cherish what they have with their mom. Don't take it for granted.. Because I did, and I regret it every day.

I have an extremely un healthy obsession with my body. One I struggle with every day. I am slowly learning to stop picking myself apart.

I live 2000 miles away from where I grew up. Never thought that would happen, but it is beautiful here.

I hate beets.

I am the BIGGEST cry baby, ever. I seriously cry over anything and everything. My doctor told me I have a "sensitive soul"

I have the most amazing dad, and I am the biggest daddy's girl. My pops has been through soooo much, and it seems like it just makes him more amazing. He always makes me laugh, I love his singing voice, I miss him allll the time.

I try to dance a little every day. Whether I shake my butt for a second, dance in the car, or full on shake my groove thing.

I am afraid of every bug.

I never wanted kids until I met Erik. And I always swore up and down that I wasn't a jealous person, until I met Erik. Hehe.

Anddd, I think I am done with this post :)

Happy Tuesday everyone.

Addicted?

I am definitely addicted to changing my hair..

If I can't cut it, I will color it. (Vise versa) I loved having short hair, I could do whatever my heart desired! I was in beauty school for esthetics at the time, and we were always finding new and different things to do with my hair. But I decided quite awhile ago that I was going to attempt growing it out. I had pretty long hair in high school, and I missed it. Quite frankly, the only reason I chopped it short was because my friend over processed my hair with bleach and fried it off. (I had a mullet, it was terrible.) So anyways.. Yeah my hair is pretty long again! And don't get me wrong, I love it. But I reallllly miss my short funky hair!
So.. I promised Erik I would grow it out for the wedding, and I have. But after.. I am seriously thinking about cutting it like this..


I love love love it!! (The cut, I can't do the blonde)

Ahhh.. Anyways.. Back to the wedding! So right now my hair is like.. a level 3 probably. It's DARK, almost black (accident, I didn't want it THIS dark..) And the wedding is in the summer, and I usually like my hair somewhat light in the summer. But I am NOT going blonde for my wedding. I am not a blonde, so why should I be on my wedding?? I want a lighter level of brown, and maybe some caramel highlights thrown in.

I love Leighton Meester, she is gorgeous. And I love her on GG :) But anywho.. I want this color! And I want the style too! I am thinking about getting extensions just so I can pull off this big messy hair one day :) Engagements maybe?? Haha


I bet the ladies at work are so sick of me changing my hair.. But I can't help it! I am addicted!

Rude People

Okay, I just have to vent for a second..

It feels like I've been dealing with rude, inconsiderate people A LOT lately. And it's really buggin..

First off, people have ZERO customer service skills anymore. I don't get it!! I've worked with the public with almost every job I've had, and so I know how important it is to have great customer service. But lately, everywhere I go the people are so freakin rude! Ugh it drives me nuts.. probably one of my biggest pet peives.

Okay so there is this girl I know.. and she is the biggest bitch! For real.. I have never done ANYTHING to her, but be nice and welcoming, and what not. Well the last time I saw her, she was seriously so rude. She hardly acknowledges me, ignores me when I try to talk to her, blows me off during conversation, etc etc.. Just a total bitch. Why do people like her think they can treat people so terribly?

Anyways.. Sorry but I had to vent about that :) My next post will be nicer!

A new love..

So you remember that rut I was talking about? Well I am running my way out of it :)

I have found a new love for running.. Which is very unusual for me! I've never enjoyed running. Never. But one day I just got on the treadmill and ran, and ran, and ran. And I truly felt that "runners high." It was amazing.

I definitely have a longgg way to go, I am no pro runner YET! Haha, but I do love seeing me break through walls I never could before! I am slowly, but surely building my endurance.

I have always wanted to be a runner. Run in a 5K, 10K, Half Marathon, maybe one day a full Marathon!! Well.. This June in Annapolis, Zooma (zoomarun.com) is hosting a half marathon, and I am now training for that! :) I cannot tell you how excited/scared/nervous I am!

Also, I am working on doing the 3 Day 60 Mile Walk for the Cure in DC this October!!



I've always been a huge supporter of this cause, and finding a cure. And I have ALWAYS wanted to do this walk.. And I think being able to do it in DC is amazing! I cannot wait! Erik even told me he would do it with me! Now I just have to get together a few more people for our team, get sponsored, and raise some money!!

So if any of you are interested, and wanna come visit the Nations Capitol in October, and walk for the cure.. Let me know :) Or if you even want to donate, just give me a holler when the time comes!

Catch up.

Christmas in Utah.
We had a blast with our family and friends while we were in Utah. Things were crazy hectic (like they usually are when we visit) There are just so many people to see! So I apologize if we missed seeing you :(
We stayed with Rachel and T-Wiz and their kids. It was fun, and not to mention the best kind of birth control.. Haha. Love those kids, but man can they scream!





We spent New Years with our good friends, Whitney and Forrest. We just hung out at our place, played some drinking games, and had good talks! I love those guys!





Now it's back to work and back to reality.. Ugh. Haha. When I was younger, I always said that I wanted to be and independent woman, and never be the stay at home wife. Well now that I have a job.. I think I wanna change my mind! Haha. It's bitter sweet really.. I'd love to stay home, and take care of the house and everything (I already do that now.. :P) And take care of the kiddies one day. But I know I'd get stir crazy!! But all of that is far away.. So right now I will focus on working, saving money, and planning our wedding!!! :)